My dad uses short forms for just about everything.  He doesn’t ask for a coffee, he asks for a coff.  There’s no newspaper to my dad, only the pape.  How do you think he asks for the butter?  Yep, “pass the butt”. 

His love of fake words has been passed along to me (and my sisters, which means we all speak Dad when we’re home) and unfortunately, appears on the blog.  To clear up any confusion about what it is I’m saying, a glossary should do it…

I know some of these are obvious, but better to be thorough!